After watching a ridiculously drunk guy hit on every woman in the bar and is now so drunk he can barely stand which is getting him kicked out, a hot chick comes up to me and says:
"I'm sorry for what he's done."
"You're gonna take this douche home and marry him aren't you?"
"NO! He's just a friend of mine and he's drunk."
The drunk guy leans over to us almost falling over and says, "have you met my fiance'?"
"Wow. You two are destined for greatness."