"The most fucked up thing I've ever done to a guy is after I found out he was cheating on me we went out and I slipped a couple of Viagra in his drink then I played with him when we went home, slept naked, and didn't give him any." - Girl
"I'd murder you with my DICK!" - Guy
You Know Those Quotes From Famous People We're Always Using?...These Are Not Those.
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Thursday, December 30, 2010
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- As my buddy is walking into a port-o-let: "Someone...
- "I jerked off to the Total Gym infomercial last ni...
- "The greatest thing that ever happened to Billy Ra...
- "The most fucked up thing I've ever done to a guy ...
- "He never washes clothes, towels, or sheets. I mea...
- After a sweet slow song a buddy played on the guit...
- "I think she's putting feelers out there to find t...
- After going into his bathroom when the toilet was ...
- "I'm serious. There were two kids names Fat Will a...
- "Ok, so I get on this elevator and I'm drunk and t...
- Parking in a handicap parking spot at a convenienc...
- "I don't want to go down there. There's a shit ton...
- "Man, let them Asians come over here and mess with...
- "That picture is HOT! I don't even need to see it!"
- My friends calling a dump a 'Sweet Water.' Then, a...
- "I mean what man WOULDN'Twant to suck his own dick...
- "You've got wrinkles." "Whatever! I'm like that bo...
- At a seedy, cheap dirty motel with a buddy of mine...
- "I don't know why, but he just pisses me off at th...
- "Why are you wearing two different shoes?!" "Whew!...
- After watching a ridiculously drunk guy hit on eve...
- "I wanna fuck one of those band members!" - Marrie...
- "You're gonna cock block me? Where are you gonna t...
- Talking about a wild girl at this football party, ...
- "YEAH! Auburn won the SEC Championship and is goin...
- Talking about a tie basketball game with a few sec...
- "I'm gonna put this beer on a chick's clitoris and...
- "I don't believe a girl unless she has a roofie in...
- "I'll be nice as hell to a cop if he pulls me over...
- Fall/Winter of 2010 "Get me 3 shots!.....and then ...
- "Dude, if I was in the UFC I'd train forever then ...
- "Hey, that's Joe 'Daddy' Stevenson! I'm cheering f...
- After a brief yet deep STD conversation: "You can'...
- "Hot Tub!" - Girl "Hell yeah I like the way you th...
- "What time is it?" - Girl "You just get a beer and...
- "Yeah, I saw her new boobs and even named them las...
- "I hooked up with him." - Girl 1 "You kissed him?!...
- "Well, I'm in this Santa Organization, so I can't ...
- "What?! You love this guy in prison who's killed a...
- "I think China Town is a Communist country." - Lex...
- After ordering a margarita and it comes back the s...
- Guy to a girl at a bar: "Baby, you're a firework. ...
- "I got called to the bathroom and there were 7 peo...
- A drunk friend of mine running up to a bouncer to ...
- "That guy reminds me of a friend of mine. He may e...
- "That guy doesn't have a drinking problem whatsoev...
- "I hate this teacher! She's failing me cause she's...
- "How is she doing?" "Oh, she's all good bro." "Sh...
- At a live basketball game when kids came out to pl...
- "Happy Thanksgiving and I hope you're feeling bett...
- Referencing to a guy who's Myspace and FB name is ...
- "I don't have any money. I'm pretty much broke." "...
- "Black people can never hate a Kenny. You know why...
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